


Nursey Patrol

by benjji2795



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Nursey Patrol-it isn't what it seems, canon-typical alcohol use, confession of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjji2795/pseuds/benjji2795
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nursey Patrol is a fixture of kegsters.  So why isn't Dex ever asked to do it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nursey Patrol

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote more Nursey/Dex because God I just love these two big, dumb hockey nerds...but anyway, I got a request to do a fic about Nursey Patrol and I knew there was already one out there, so I tried to put my own twist on it. Also, this is the first NurseyDex fic I've ever written from Dex's POV (if you can believe that), so there's that. Hope you like it :)
> 
> It's a totally lame title, but I got nothing else good lmao
> 
> As always, hugs to my beta-er [DaZeli](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DaZeli/pseuds/DaZeli)

It wasn’t a question of whether Nursey could hold his alcohol, because he was just as good at it as the rest of the Haus.  No, Nursey Patrol was created because Nursey was known to do—crazy things when he got schwasted.  After the time they caught him dancing on one of the Haus’ rickety tables (something Dex hadn’t seen happen, but something the entire team had insisted on telling him the story of), nobody wanted to know what other bizarre things Nursey might try to do.

 

Dex understood that.  What he didn’t understand was why _he_ was never asked to be on Nursey Patrol.  That duty was always passed between Ransom, Holster and Shitty (they briefly tried having Chowder do it, but the sweet goalie kid got schwasted way too fast and was just generally useless at it).  It irritated Dex; he could handle Nursey, and probably do it better than any of those three could.  And he made a point of telling Ransom and Holster that while they were discussing it during prep for the Haus’ upcoming kegster.

 

“Bro, is it your turn to do Nursey Patrol or mine?” Holster asked Ransom as they carted in a nearly endless supply of beer into the Haus.

 

“I could do it,” Dex remarked casually.  “I can handle Nursey.”

 

A strange look crossed Holster’s face and he accidentally dropped the six-pack he was holding and glanced over at Ransom.  “Yeah bro, we know you can.”

 

“But bro, you’re still a frog, and you should be experiencing the glory of the Haus during kegsters, not stuck chasing Nursey around like you’re his babysitter,” Ransom chimed in suspiciously quickly, though that could’ve been their strange mind-meld kicking in too.

 

“I’ve experienced plenty of kegsters already.  Like bros, they’re all pretty much the same, it’s not like I’d be missing much,” Dex frowned.  He wasn’t sure how, but Nursey Patrol had ended up keeping Nursey from hanging out with him, and kegsters were actually getting pretty boring without him (not that he’d ever admit it).

 

“Yeah, but—don’t you already spend a lot of time with Nursey?” Holster questioned while communicating (via eyebrows) with Ransom in a panic; Dex had clearly caught them both off-guard.

 

“You must get sick of him,” Ransom added slowly, nodding slightly as he read Holster’s face carefully.

 

At one time, Dex would’ve said yes, he did get sick of Nursey, but that didn’t happen anymore.  Nursey was—more than tolerable and Dex was starting to like having him around (not that he’d ever admit that either).  But just because he wouldn’t admit it, didn’t mean that everyone hadn’t noticed, so Ransom’s comment didn’t really make a lot of sense.  Besides, Ransom and Holster spent way more time together than he and Nursey did.

 

“By that logic, you two must be sick of each other too,” Dex shrugged, calling their bluff.  Ransom and Holster were being squirrely about this, and Dex wanted to know why.  “Besides, what about all that shit you say about the d-man bond and looking out for each other?  Doesn’t that mean something here?”

 

Ransom and Holster both froze for a long second.

 

“I—you know Rans, I think we forgot to buy that thing,” Holster said evasively.

 

“Yeah Holtzy, we totally forgot to buy that thing, let’s go back and get it,” Ransom agreed, fleeing with Holster in a flash.

 

Huh, that was really…odd didn’t even begin to cover it.  They took off like they didn’t have answer—or like they didn’t _want_ to answer his question.  That made Dex extremely suspicious; there was evidently something they didn’t want him to know.  Were it not something about Nursey, Dex would’ve shrugged it off and moved on.  But this was Nursey and—okay, so maybe that was just him being nosy, but Dex wanted to know everything going on with Nursey.  So he resolved to find out at that night’s kegster.

* * *

 

Dex spent the first thirty minutes of the kegster, watching the door to the Haus keenly, waiting for Nursey to show (because he hadn’t answered when Dex asked him if he wanted to walk over with him).  When Nursey arrived, later than Dex expected, he quickly jumped up to meet him, only for Shitty to firmly plant himself in Dex’s path.

 

“Brah, have you had any tub juice yet?” Shitty asked, shouting to be heard over the already raging party.

 

“I—no but I’ve been…” Dex answered, trailing off as he held up his mostly empty beer cup, straining to look around Shitty without being too obvious that he was doing it.

 

“Well then, bro, drink up!” Shitty exclaimed, shoving a cup into his free hand and pushing back into the crowd, disappearing as quickly as he had appeared.

 

Dex groaned; he couldn’t see where Nursey was now.  He retreated back to his spot along the wall, disappointedly sipping his tub juice (which, _wow_ , he still wasn’t used to how boozy it was).  After a few minutes, when leaning up against the wall by himself proved to be about as fun as watching paint dry, he made a split-second decision to down his cup and wander in the direction Nursey had been heading.

 

He made it two steps before Ransom was suddenly in his face.

 

“Dex!  You, me, beer pong!” he declared and—was that a hint of his crazy eyes Dex was seeing?  He didn’t know why, because midterms were two weeks off but…

 

Dex blinked and, yeah, Ransom had a little bit of the crazy eyes going, which, turning down Ransom when he was doing that was never good idea.  Even so, he gave it a shot—sort of.  “Where’s Holster?” Dex asked, confused.  Ransom always played beer pong with Holster.  He’d never seen Ransom play with _anyone_ other than Holster.  Also whenever Rans was like this, Holster was somewhere nearby, keeping an eye on him.

 

“Oh, he’s…busy,” Ransom smirked, crudely gesturing towards the attic.

 

“Already?” Dex questioned, raising an eyebrow.  The kegster had barely been going for forty-five minutes.

 

“Well, you know Holster,” Ransom shrugged, grabbing Dex’s arm and dragging him to the nearest beer pong table (because there were several).

 

“Not rea—” Dex began, because he’d never known Holster to vanish from a kegster so quickly, but he was cut off by Ransom shoving a ping pong ball in his hand.

 

“You go first,” he said with a determined look in his eye.

 

Dex considered his options, then took a deep breath and tossed the ball.

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes and a lot of beer later (most of which was drunk by Dex for some reason), they had gotten soundly crushed by a couple of guys from the basketball team, and Dex found the room to be a lot less steady than it was before.  He paused for a second, gathering his feet underneath him.  He didn’t get a step away from the table before he was yanked a completely different direction by Lardo.

 

“I’m gonna destroy you at flip cup,” she offered up in explanation.

 

“I—I think I’d rather not,” Dex swallowed thickly.  The decision to down his cup of tub juice was looking worse by the second—literally.  He was already feeling drunk enough that the entire room was fuzzy around the edges and he’d barely been at the party for more than an hour; he didn’t want more alcohol.  What he really wanted to do was to get some water and maybe to find Nursey.  He wanted to—wait, why did he want to find Nursey?  He was having a hard time remembering.

 

“It’s funny that you think you get a choice in this,” Lardo chuckled, insistently pulling on his arm.

“Huh?” he said, knitting his eyebrows together.

 

“You’re the one that said that all kegsters were pretty much all the same,” she grinned mischievously.  “We’re just rectifying that thinking.”

 

_Shit_ , he should’ve known better than to say that.  He sighed and followed Lardo; he screwed himself so he might as well just accept his fate.

 

His coordination was already completely trashed, so flip cup was an unqualified disaster.  He hadn’t even flipped his first cup by the time Lardo was finished.

 

“Bottoms up Dex,” she directed, pointing to the other two cups he hadn’t even touched yet.

 

He drank them without complaint, and then, without warning, Holster was standing over him.

 

“Dex, it’s time for you to do a keg stand!” Holster shouted, smacking Dex on shoulder.

 

“I’m gonna get alcohol poisoning,” Dex mumbled even as he let Holster lead him toward the keg.  He didn’t have the resolve to resist, even though he wanted to.

 

“Do this and then you can join Bits in the kitchen for a while,” he said as Ransom appeared on Dex’s other side, lifting him into the air.

* * *

 

“I regret everything,” Dex sighed, swaying unsteadily as he plopped down in a chair at the table.  The whole room was spinning rapidly and it was starting to make him feel nauseous.  He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to steady himself on the chair.

 

“Yeah, I swear those boys are _ruthless_ when they decide it’s your turn to get schwasted,” Bitty replied sympathetically.  Dex heard the sound of him setting a glass of water in front of him, and he opened his eyes, focusing hard on the table in front of him, trying to figure out which glass was the real one.  “It’s the middle one.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Oh dear _Lord_ , you’re drunk.  Alright, just sit here,” Bitty instructed, using his mother hen voice.  “You’re done for a while.”

 

Dex nodded; he wasn’t going anywhere.  He wasn’t even sure that he could stand without being in danger of falling over immediately.  He heard a distinct thump, and it took him a second and twinge of pain to realize that the sound was his own head, making contact with the table.

 

“What’s up with him?” he heard someone—Nursey ask Bitty.  Dex turned his head to face him, his cheek resting on the cool, dark wood of the table.

 

“I’ve had tub juice, I’ve played beer pong and—I think I did a kegstand.  And maybe I played flip cup with Lardo.  I don’t know.”  He wasn’t sure; his memory was too hazy.  “I’m so very drunk,” he added to punctuate his point, giggling uncontrollably.

 

_“Jesus,”_ Nursey muttered, concern contorting his features.  “I’m sorry Bitty, I swear I told them to distract him, not give him alcohol poisoning.”

 

Dex couldn’t think of why he would need to be distracted, but then again, that was probably because of the alcohol racing through his body.  Dex was having a very hard time thinking right now, period.  Also he felt very sleepy.  Honestly, the table’s hard surface was feeling softer by the second.

 

Bitty and Nursey kept talking, but Dex couldn’t focus on the words they were saying, so he just closed his eyes and tuned them out.

 

“Come on Dex, up you go,” Nursey said some time later (Dex couldn’t tell how long it had been; time felt like it was at a standstill), hooking his arm under Dex’s armpits.  Dex lazily threw his arm over Nursey’s shoulder and let him pull him up.  Nursey struggled under Dex’s weight, but nonetheless began walking towards the front door of the Haus on his own.  Dex lolled his head onto Nursey’s shoulder and _woah_ , it was a little bony, but way more comfortable than the table.

 

“Dex,” Nursey grunted.  “Dex, you’re going to have to help me here.”

 

“Wha?” Dex replied slowly, his muscles of his jaw struggling to complete the word.

 

“ _Walk_ , Poindexter,” Nursey said, breathing heavily through his nose.

 

“What are you doing Nursey?” Dex heard Holster ask while he was in the process of trying to remember how his legs worked.

 

“Taking Dex back to his room,” Nursey remarked with his teeth clenched.

 

“Is that really a good idea?”

 

“No,” Nursey shrugged; or at least he tried.  He couldn’t really with his shoulders being used to support Dex.  “But considering I can’t trust you fuckers to actually be careful with him, I’m doing it anyway.”

 

Nursey’s teeth were still clenched and he sounded angry.  _Unchill_ , even, which, if he had been sober, Dex would’ve been practically ecstatic about, because it would be the first time he’d ever seen Nursey not chill.  But he was very drunk, so instead he mumbled “ _Chill_ Nurse” without thinking about it, ripping a startled laugh from Nursey’s throat.

 

“Alright Dex, I’ll chill,” Nursey said, still chuckling.  “But seriously Holster, I got him.  I’ll be okay.”

 

Holster shrugged and then they stepped outside into the cold night air.

* * *

 

It took them a while, but they eventually made it to Dex’s dorm.  Nursey paused, and Dex made a questioning noise.  It was cold and he wanted to be inside and in bed.  He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep.

 

“ _Shit_ , your roommate,” Nursey muttered.

 

It took Dex a minute to string his thoughts together but, yeah, Nursey was right, his roommate was probably already asleep and would be pissed at the two of them stumbling in.

 

“Your room?” Dex suggested because Nursey didn’t have a roommate, the mercifully privileged fucker.  Nursey drew in a deep breath, his bright green eyes unfocused as he thought.

 

“I guess,” he answered hesitantly, dragging Dex towards the door.  They were both in the same dorm, so instead of going to the 4th floor where Dex’s room was, they went to the 2nd instead, where Nursey’s was.

 

Nursey struggled, trying to keep Dex upright while fishing in his pockets for his keys, but he got it after a moment.  Dex felt himself being deposited on the bed when he suddenly remembered something.  Nursey was leaning over him, so he clumsily reached up and snagged Nursey’s shoulder with his hand.

 

“Nursey.  Nursey?  Why—why—distract me?” he asked, the sentence broken as his tired, drunk brain struggled to gather the words necessary to make a full sentence.

 

“It’s—it’s nothing important,” Nursey frowned.  “But I’m sorry that they did it by getting you way too drunk.”

 

“M’fine,” Dex mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut.

 

“Yeah, sure you are,” Nursey scoffed, almost fondly.  “Sleep well, Dex.”

 

He was almost asleep already, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the kiss that Nursey pressed to his forehead a few seconds later, before he slipped into slumber.

* * *

 

Dex’s mouth felt rough and dry like sandpaper and _shit_ , did his head hurt.  Fuck Ransom, Holster, Shitty and Lardo for all working together to get him drunk like that (also wow, his memory was surprisingly good for how drunk he thought he got).

 

Dex sat up, groaning the whole way as his head protested every movement.  When he opened his eyes, he found Nursey standing in front of him, holding out painkillers and a bottle of water.  Dex mumbled his thanks and snatched them up, taking the pills and then downing the water quickly.

 

_Nursey_.   How he remembered, Dex didn’t know because he was _so_ drunk, but Dex definitely recalled Nursey kissing his forehead right before he fell asleep.  He remembered that, somehow, everything that happened yesterday was connected; Ransom and Holster’s squirrely-ness, Ransom, Holster, Shitty and Lardo all trying to get him drunk, Nursey’s forehead kiss.  But he had no idea why.

 

“Why?” he blurted out, bolting back up.

 

“ _Why_ what?” Nursey replied cryptically, looking at Dex with raised eyebrows.

 

“Yesterday.  Everything.  Why?”

 

“I already told you, it’s nothing impor—”

 

“Shut the fuck up, of course it’s something important,” Dex cut him off sharply.  “If it wasn’t, then why do it in the first place?”

 

“So what if it is important?” Nursey answered, his voice flat and steady, but unease flickering in eyes.  “What makes you think I’d actually fucking tell you why?”

 

“Because this is all about me, you dipshit!” Dex shouted, too irritated to care about the throbbing in his head his yelling was causing.  “Did you really think you could go to all that trouble without me questioning why?”

 

“I don’t know!  Maybe!” Nursey responded, raising his voice enough to catch Dex off guard.  They argued a lot, but he’d never heard Nursey raise his voice before; he was always too chill for that.

 

“Look, all I did was ask why Ransom and Holster why I was never on Nursey Patrol!  I was just curious, and then they wouldn’t answer me and—I just wanted to know what was going on, okay!  You’ve started avoiding me a lot more lately and I—I thought we were past the point of hating each other!” Dex continued, his tone sounding surprisingly desperate to his own ears.

 

“Chill bro, I don’t hate you,” Nursey snorted.

 

“Oh really?  Then what was last night?!  That’s not the kind of thing you do to your friends!” Dex argued, standing up and stepping into Nursey’s space.

 

“That wasn’t my fault!  Shitty was the dumbass who thought the best way to distract you was to get you drunk off your ass!” Nursey countered, matching Dex’s movement.  That isn’t really what he meant; he was talking about Nursey kissing his forehead and why he did _that_ and wait, they were standing really close all of the sudden.

 

“You still haven’t explained why I needed distracting in the first place!”

 

“ _Fine_ , if you have to know, it’s because you were onto me!” Nursey huffed, and Dex could feel his puffs of warm air hitting his skin.

 

“Onto _you_?  What the fuck does that mean?” Dex inquired, feeling genuinely confused.  Why would he have been onto _Nursey_?  He was just trying to find out why Ransom and Holster were acting so weird.

 

And then there wasn’t any space between them and Nursey was kissing him and—

 

_Nursey was kissing him_ and automatically he started kissing back, but internally, he was screaming.  He may have been gay, but he’d never kissed another boy before and _fuck_ , he was not prepared for the way it made every nerve on his body light up like a Christmas tree.  It was a breathtaking feeling and he’d kissed enough girls to know that _damn_ , Nursey was a good kisser.  Dex put his hands on Nursey’s broad shoulders to keep himself steady.

 

Nursey jolted at the touch, quickly wrenching himself away from Dex.

 

“Oh my God, I shouldn’t have done that Dex, I’m so sorry,” Nursey said, flushed and with a pained, apologetic expression on his face.

 

“What?  No, don’t apologize!” Dex squeaked.  There was nothing wrong with Nursey kissing him because— _wow_ , he really liked that (also, why wasn’t that freaking him out more?).  “It’s—it’s really okay.  Better than okay, actually.”

 

Now it was Nursey’s turn to squeak out a response.

 

“B-but I thought—”

 

“I’m pretty convincing, aren’t I?” Dex shrugged.  He had been hiding in the closet since he was thirteen, so he’d had a lot of experience pretending to be something he wasn’t.

 

“S-so y-you’re—”

 

“Yeah.  I’m gay,” Dex said, and the words came out easily, despite never having said them before.  It was useless to deny that fact to Nursey, when Dex reacted like he did to being kissed by him.

 

“So do you—do you like me?” Nursey asked and Dex rolled his eyes at his wording.

 

“God Nursey, are we, like, in middle school?”

 

“Shut up Poindexter, I don’t know how else to say it,” Nursey retorted, walking over and punching Dex’s shoulder playfully before settling down onto the bed next to him.

 

“Alright fine,” Dex conceded, letting himself lean into Nursey slightly, grinning at the way it made his skin tingle with electricity.  “Honestly, Derek, I’ve never thought about it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“But I’d like—I’m willing to try it out,” Dex shrugged.  “It’s not going to be—I don’t want to just sleep with you,” he ducked his head and blushed.  “Though I do want to do that, I’ve never actually been in a relationship before so I—I want to do it for real.”

 

“Oh thank fuck,” Nursey sighed, reaching over to grab Dex’s hand.  “That’s kinda all I’ve wanted from you for ages.”

 

“Oh really?  For how long?” Dex smirked.

 

“Nope, I’m not going to tell you,” Nursey chuckled.  “I know you want to know just so you can chirp me.”

 

“Damn.  You know me too well.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that yet,” Nursey grinned, leaning over to kiss him.  Dex rolled his eyes, because God, he was ridiculously transparent, but he still kissed back anyway, smiling the whole time.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a vision of Dex and Nursey's first kiss being during an argument lol


End file.
